Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
