I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize