i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
