I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
