my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
