I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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