If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
