Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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