Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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