sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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