Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
