He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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