he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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