I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
