so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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