ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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