He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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