its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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