so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
