i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
