ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
