Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize