i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
