there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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