BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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