gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
