so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
