I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
