I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize