Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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