brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
