i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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