Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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