we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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