its not stalking. its research.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
