Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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