We won't sleep together?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
