You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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