My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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