Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
