i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
