I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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