Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
