Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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