You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
