i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh god it's open bar.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
