Someone shit on the floor
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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