When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
