can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
