have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
