You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i have herpe
just one?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
