I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
