This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
