this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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