I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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