Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
These tits shall not be calmed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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