I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
