On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
