i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
