i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
