it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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