i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need water and some morals
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