I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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