Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My bed smells like the plague
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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