You can't special order awesome
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
