Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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