Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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