he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
