Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
