i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
