my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
