remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
