So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
