we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
