was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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