I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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