I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
