dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
